


Iroh's Secrets

by lily49



Category: Avatar (TV), Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:00:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily49/pseuds/lily49
Summary: Great wisdom comes only with experience, and Iroh's case, some incredibly painful experience.  Iroh finally lets Zuko in on two of his deepest, darkest secrets.  What happened to Zuko's aunt, and what happened because of it.  This is the story of how Zuko came to doubt his parentage because Iroh is an imperfect man.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Long time lurker, first time caller (at least for Avatar), glad to join the club!
> 
> Zuko was always sure that Fire Lord Ozai was his father. After all, nobody had any evidence to suggest otherwise. Until someone did.

“Zuko, it makes me happy to know that even as the mighty Fire Lord you are not above consulting your tea crazed old uncle. I am glad someone still needs me.” Iroh had come, on Zuko’s request, to see his nephew one evening two weeks after Zuko’s coronation as Fire Lord. 

Zuko smiled. “I will always need you. Let me order some tea.” Zuko gestured to a servant to prepare some of the best jasmine the palace had before beginning to describe his trouble. 

“Uncle, I know you said that you thought I was the best choice for Fire Lord but it’s been two weeks and I can’t shake this feeling that I’ll never be as good at it as you would have been.” 

Iroh smiled. “Zuko, it is going to take more than a fortnight for you to be comfortable in a role you were not adequately prepared for. There will be some growing pains, it is only to be expected.”

Zuko frowned. “But what if, while I’m learning, I make some horrible mistake and ruin everything?” 

“That is unlikely.” 

Zuko blurted out what actually weighed on his heart. “What if I’m never better than my father was?” 

That question made Iroh pause, rather than simply assure Zuko that he’d never be like Ozai as he had done in the past. For years, he had been careful to keep his closest, deepest secret from the one person who deserved to know more than anyone. It had never been the right time. 

“Zuko, I think it is time you learned something. A secret.” By now, their tea had been delivered. “A secret for your ears and yours alone.”

Zuko rose, gave instructions that they were not to be interrupted, and locked the doors to the room. “Go on.”

“It is a secret I had originally intended to take to my grave, but recent events have given me reason to think it should be brought to your attention.” 

Zuko’s eyes widened at the intensity with which his uncle spoke. 

“Before I begin, it would be worth remembering that we are all imperfect people, especially myself.” Iroh held his hand up to stop Zuko's interjection. “This is a story about a time in my life where I was a very imperfect man. While I do not regret for a moment my actions, they were at least improper if not downright dishonourable.” Zuko sat back, sipping his tea. 

“As you know, Ozai and Ursa were married nearly eighteen years ago. At the time, I was a relatively recent widower with a young son in whom I could not confide my grief. I had to support him through his grief and had nobody to support me through my own. Once I denied interest in taking another wife, everyone at the palace decided that I should just be continue to be the strong general and crown prince I had been rather than the emotional disaster who cried himself to sleep at night that I had become. On the surface, I was that strong person. But I longed for someone who would actually listen to me, to hear my grief without judgement.” 

“Enter your mother into my life. While I had been aware of the reasons for her engagement and marriage to Ozai, I had not actually met her until their wedding banquet. She was a delightful woman, charming and intelligent in a way not often seen around noblewomen. She would come and visit in the afternoons while Lu Ten was at school and we’d drink tea, play Pai Sho, and talk. Eventually, she confessed her loneliness for her home. She had been barred from talking with anybody in Hira’a, her hometown. When she was done, I confessed my own loneliness and ongoing grief to her and finally found the gentle ear I had been longing for.”

“It is here, Zuko, that I must admit that the lines of propriety between us began to blur. I have discovered that once two compatible people become truly emotionally intimate, physical intimacy nearly always follows. The mind and the body are often rather difficult to separate.”

At this point, Zuko put down his tea. He was afraid if he kept drinking it he’d spit it out across the table, given where he was reasonably certain Iroh’s story was leading. He felt his face heat a little and his heart beat a little faster. 

“Over the next few months we conducted an increasingly sordid affair, eventually coming to spend time together in a way that typically only married couples do.” Zuko felt his entire face flush. “It was, without a doubt, improper and dishonorable. I do not regret it. Once I learned that Ozai was abusing your mother, all the guilt I had vanished rather quickly. We were good for each other.” Iroh looked down, remembering all that had been said. “We loved each other,” he added softly. 

“It was about six weeks after we had started truly making love that Ursa came to me to tell me that she had fallen pregnant.” 

Zuko’s eyebrows shot up to the ceiling. “Wait, so does that mean...?” He left the end of the thought unspoken.

“What it means, Zuko, is that there is a distinct possibility that Ozai is not your biological father.” 

“How distinct is that possibility?” Zuko’s throat had suddenly dried to a desert as his heart rate went through the roof. This could change everything about how he saw himself. He could be free of the fear that he would be like his father and instead hope that he could ever rise to the challenge. 

“There’s no way to be certain as I know she was also seeing Ozai at the same time. But I’ve always had my suspicions, and so has Ursa.” 

“And how certain in those suspicions are you?” 

“Seventy-five to eighty percent.”

“Okay.” And Zuko fell silent, clearly thinking it over. “And Azula?”

“She is definitely Ozai’s daughter. About six months after you were born, I left for the Earth Kingdom as my own father deemed that I was more important on the battle fronts than at home.”

“It was your sister’s birth that really solidified the idea in your mother’s mind that you were mine.” Iroh is careful to avoid the word son, unsure what Zuko would want to do in light of this information. “As she grew older and your personalities so obviously diverged, Ursa believed that your emotional availability and compassion were signs of your parentage. Who am I to doubt a mother’s intuition?”

“Do you think my fa-Ozai knew?”

“I do not believe so. Ursa was so careful about the whole thing, only coming to see me when Ozai was otherwise occupied. I think if he had known, he would have been far more unpleasant with both of us, especially once he became Fire Lord and had nothing else to stop him. Instead of his inferior child and loser brother we would have been the man his wife cheated with and the potential product of that affair. Men tend not to keep people like that around.”

Zuko looked down, remembering all the times he had been emotionally abused by his fa-Ozai. One particular memory stood out.

“Ozai once told me that he had tried to have me killed because I lacked a spark in my eyes when I was born, and he thought I wasn’t a firebender. Did you know anything about that?” 

Iroh sighed and frowned. “Your mother told me as much when she first came with you to visit me a few days after you were born. She took it as a sign that Ozai somehow knew what had been going on and somehow knew that you were definitely not his son, but I calmed her down, and explained that despite his firebending skills, Lu Ten had not had the spark either and it was fairly common.”

Zuko’s eyes widened. “He didn’t?” 

“No, he didn’t. Come to think of it, that was probably the first time Ursa really started to believe that you were not Ozai’s child,” Iroh mused. 

“You said when you started talking that you were planning on taking this to your grave. Were you never going to tell me?”

“I had no intention of breathing word of this to you or anyone else while Ozai still had power in either of our lives, never mind the damage it would have done to my reputation if word had gotten out. When you were born, you must remember, I was Crown Prince and a scandal that big would have destroyed any good faith people had in me as a future leader. At any rate, you were a child. Children can’t keep secrets to save their lives and often share them to gain leverage over other children or adults. After Ozai became Fire Lord, I thought better of bringing it up because it would have shattered your identity as a person and likely have gotten back to him, which would have been disastrous. During your banishment, you were so focused on pleasing Ozai that I thought telling you might derail any progress you were making on becoming a man with an independent mind. I planned to tell you about what had gone on after Ozai was no longer a force in your life and until relatively recently, that would have been when he died. Given that I am eight years older than he is, I had simply assumed I would die first.”

“But now that I am Fire Lord and he is in a prison cell...”

“Exactly. Now, I think this knowledge has the power to be a force for good in your life rather than bad.”

“Yeah.”

“Now, you may be free of the fear that you will ever be Fire Lord as Ozai was simply because you thought he was your father. There is a fairly good chance he is not. It’s time to let go of those ghosts.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Zuko slid around the table to hug Iroh, feeling a significant weight come off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we learn what happened to Iroh's wife. I'll warn you, it's not pretty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this your warning, folks. The way Iroh's wife passes is a way that is entirely too common even today; from complications of childbirth and there are some pretty graphic details about the whole thing. If that's not your thing, go ahead and skip past the italics (or skip this chapter altogether).

“Can I ask you a rather personal question?”

“Always, Zuko.”

“What actually happened to your wife?”

Iroh sighed. “I suppose it is time I unearthed this secret for you, too. She died trying to give me a daughter, and Lu Ten a sister. It was easily the second worst day of my life.”

Zuko sharply inhaled. “I’m so, so sorry. You don’t have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to, I’m sure it’s...a painful memory.”

“It is. Incredibly painful. But I think it is time that I shared it with someone. For all that I have kept from you, I deserve to be allowed no more secrets. I think it is important that you know what happened.”

Iroh started his story. “I had been more involved with both of Aiko’s pregnancies than most men, in the Fire Nation and elsewhere. I attempted to learn as much as I could so I could help her as much as possible. I wanted to be involved in the process. As a result, she allowed me into what is typically a female only space. The birthing room.”

Iroh paused, remembering that at sixteen, all he had known about the entire process was that it involved sex and a lot of screaming, and that Zuko probably only knew what Iroh had previously told him. Which, to spare himself the pain of remembering, hadn’t been much.

“Bringing a child into the world is an incredibly messy and painful process. For most women, it is easily the most physically vulnerable time in their lives. The purpose of midwives is to assist a new mother through that process, mostly by being able to see that rather intimate part of her body that most women cannot see even when not extremely pregnant and advise the mother as to what is actually happening and what she should be doing.” Zuko nodded.

“As you can imagine, most women would rather their husbands did not see them going through this process, as it tends to involve their private parts doing some amazing yet rather disgusting things, and most noblewomen do not believe their husbands will ever want to be intimate with them again afterward. It was only with immense pleading that my wife granted me the privilege of assisting. While I agree that it was certainly not the most flattering way I had ever seen my wife, realizing the amount of sheer effort that went into bringing a baby into the world and being able to witness my son’s very first breath made it all so incredibly worth it. I can not highly recommend it enough, Zuko, when the time comes for you. It did not, in any way, diminish my love for her. If anything, it only deepened it.” Zuko blushed, knowing that there would be pressure soon to secure an heir line and that this was part of it.

“But alas, this is not the story of the day Lu Ten was born. On that day, everything went exactly as it should have. This is the story about the day it all went horribly wrong.”

_Iroh took a deep breath. He had never actually revealed the details of what happened in that room that day. He was tired of carrying that weight on his soul._

_“Instead of taking her first breath and beginning to cry as a healthy baby should, my daughter was silent. She never took that first breath.” Iroh remembered the panic that set in at that moment as he and the four midwives tried to figure out what had gone wrong and the crushing realization after a couple of minutes that nothing could be done._

_“Afterwards, Aiko did not stop bleeding like she was supposed to. It just kept coming.” Iroh started to choke up. “There was just so much, I had never seen that much blood in my entire life. My position as an army officer had distanced me from that aspect of the war. The midwives tried, but there was not anything we could do to get it to stop. I held her and promised her that I loved her and that I would take care of Lu Ten. In my arms, she fell unconscious and died.” Zuko hugged him tightly as Iroh started to cry. They stayed quiet for a few minutes before Iroh continued talking, in a whispered broken voice._

“The next day, I built a traditional funeral pyre for her and the daughter who never breathed. Once I lit it, my parents and brother who had come to pay respects left me alone with my grief, as they would continue to do indefinitely. I was completely inconsolable, as was Lu Ten. After a few weeks, we sort of resolved together to try and move on. He needed me and so I was there for him, but I had no one. Until your mother moved into the palace six months later.”

“I had no idea.”

“Zuko, these stories are not for children’s ears.”

Zuko sighed. “Of course, they aren’t.”

“I must admit, I was terrified when your mother came to tell me she was pregnant. I was not ready to go through all of that again.”

“Nobody would ever be ready, Uncle, I don’t think that’s the sort of thing one recovers from.”

“No, I suppose not. When you were born, I had to make an active effort to avoid seeming overly interested, as it would have been extremely out of place for me to be involved. As far as I am aware, Ozai wasn’t in the room and it would have been completely improper for me to be either. In reality I was terrified something would happen. I did not go visit until two days after your birth at the same time my parents did. Ursa came to see me alone with you a week later. I was overjoyed about the fact that you were healthy.”

“I’m...glad I could help?” With that, to Zuko’s relief, Iroh laughed.

“So, now you know.”

“Now I know. What should we do? Should anything change?"

“Zuko, I’ve been basically parenting you since your banishment and by now you should realise I’ve thought of you as mine since you were born.”

“I know.”

“So I suppose, nothing changes. It would probably be better that this information is still pretty quiet, especially since we do not actually know anything, and such rumours could shake the public more than it is worth.”

“True...I don’t want to keep calling you my uncle though, if we both know that’s probably a lie.”

“Zuko, it’s up to you what you call me, I really don’t care.”

“How about your actual name, then?”

“Sounds fine.”

“Thank you for telling me all of this, Iroh.”

“Of course, Zuko.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is a prologue about Ursa, Iroh, and the possible beginning of Zuko. It's a tad smutty.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look at the increasingly sordid affair. Semi-smutty. I'm not especially great at writing smut...

When Ursa first met Iroh at the banquet after her wedding, she thought the dance they shared that night would be the most physically intimate that they ever got. 

She was wrong. 

Over the course of the six months following her marriage to Ozai, Ursa found herself drawn more and more often to Iroh’s royal palace suite, and often spent many an afternoon drinking tea and chatting, often over games of Pai Sho while Iroh’s seven-year-old son Lu Ten was at school. 

In contrast to Ozai, Ursa found Iroh to be a wonderful friend. He was genuinely interested in her hobbies, her thoughts and opinions, and nearly anything else she brought up in conversation. He was a fascinating person in his own right and seemed to have at least a little bit of experience with nearly everything. Iroh, for his part, found Ursa to be one of the few people at the Palace who would actually speak her mind rather than being the meek woman she was expected to be around men. To Ursa, Iroh the human being came before Iroh the Crown Prince and Iroh the General, something Iroh greatly appreciated. It helped that Ursa was delightfully interesting, intelligent, and insightful, three qualities that made her a wonderful companion. 

At some point about a month or two after Ursa had moved into the Palace, Iroh gently asked about her home, a subject she had been dancing around. Iroh knew of the prophecy that had sent his father all over the Fire Nation looking for Roku’s descendants and that they had eventually discovered Roku’s daughter and granddaughter in the small town of Hira’a, but that was it. Ursa explained that she hadn’t brought it up before because she had been told by Ozai to forget it, which Iroh found a completely ridiculous request. When Ursa protested that she wasn’t going to defy her husband’s request not to communicate with her hometown, Iroh changed course and requested that she at least tell him about it. Over the next several visits, she proceeded to explain her love of theatre, her family, and her lost love left in Hira’a. Eventually, she admitted to Iroh that visiting with him was the only thing that made living in the Palace bearable; Ozai’s cold distance was making her even lonelier than she had been when she’d left home. 

Once Ursa had confessed, Iroh admitted that the only time he felt he could truly relax and be himself was when she visited, and that her visits helped stave off his own crushing loneliness that had arrived after the death of his wife, Aiko. When she invited him to say as much as he needed, he was relieved to have finally found someone who cared. 

From then on, the nature of their relationship changed. They started to seek an emotional comfort in each other that nobody else in their lives could provide them. They dropped the facades of the perfect emotionless people they were supposed to be, they dropped their titles, and they were emotionally open with each other. In each other, they found understanding and acceptance. 

They shared secrets they’d never told another soul, they asked advice on the most personal matters and in the process crossed the line defining a proper platonic relationship. Iroh started to close the door to his suite when she came, and his staff learned to make themselves scarce, keep any would-be interrupters out, and keep Ursa’s visits a secret. Once they became emotionally intimate, it was only a matter of time before it got physical. 

It started with lingering hugs when Ursa would rise to leave, both wanting to hang onto the warmth as long as possible. Eventually it drifted into the territory of hand holding over the table as they talked before they ultimately decided they’d rather not have the table between them and they began to cuddle together on one side. 

From there, they moved off the floor to cuddling on the couch sofa while they talked, relishing in each other’s body heat. One day, as Ursa leaned in to kiss Iroh for the very first time, the reality of what they were doing crashed down on him. Ursa was married to his brother. While he trusted that she knew what she wanted, he wasn’t sure he could betray Ozai like this. He gently pushed her away and told her as much. 

Ursa then revealed to him something she had not mentioned to another soul. She had avoided speaking about this aspect of her marriage with Iroh. She wasn’t ready for the pain talking about it would bring and she didn’t want Iroh would do anything rash with this information. 

Ozai was abusing her. He would hit and burn her when he was angry, he hurled all sorts of verbal insults at her, and he made sure that she knew he thought her inferior. Even though she was related to Avatar Roku, Ozai made it clear that she would always and only ever be a peasant pawn to him. And when they went to bed together, his touch brought nearly only pain. Ozai never considered her needs, and when they fucked it was for his pleasure alone. The hitting and burning were often part of the experience to satisfy Ozai’s sadistic fetishes. In every way, Ozai saw Ursa as a tool to be used for his needs rather than as a wife to be adored and appreciated. 

As she relayed his brother’s cruelty, Iroh started to see red in a way he had not in many years. How dare his brother take this wonderful woman for granted? How DARE he hurt her for his own gain?! He abruptly stood to go confront Ozai, when Ursa’s urging and logic made him sit back down. She pointed out that nothing good would come from it, as not only would a visit from Iroh not change anything about Ozai’s behavior, it would also reveal her and Iroh’s close relationship. They weren’t getting divorced, so the best option Ursa had was to put up with it and hope Ozai eventually lost interest in hurting her. 

She felt that Ozai had betrayed her as her husband by being so cruel and confessed that she did not feel any guilt whatsoever at betraying him in return, and she encouraged Iroh to take the same stance. Iroh gladly accepted and leaned in to kiss her, trying to put his anger aside for the moment. 

From then on, every time she came to visit him, they’d lower their inhibitions just a little further. Iroh had always had a rather healthy sexual appetite and was showing no signs of slowing at nearly forty. He must have been subconsciously holding something in his mind back, because once his guilt vanished, Ursa joined the cast of his regular masturbatory fantasies. Ursa, for her part, found Iroh to be a handsome and attractive man despite the fact that he was seventeen years her senior. On the rare occasion when she would take a long, sensual bath, she would imagine that he’d join her in the steaming water. 

As it happened, that was the first scenario in which Iroh and Ursa were ever nude together. One afternoon Ursa arrived to find Iroh incredibly tense and stressed about something going on in court, and she suggested they bathe together in an effort to relax. They went together into Iroh’s large personal bathroom, filled the tub to capacity, and disrobed. Before they sunk into the hot water, they took a few moments to drink each other in. 

As it turned out, Iroh’s imagination had been relatively accurate. Ursa was a pale, willowy, and graceful woman clearly unashamed of her beauty. Her curves were slight, as was common in Fire Nation women but her hips and breasts were just generous enough to fill Iroh’s hands. She was gorgeous. 

Despite his relative lack of physical activity at present, Iroh was clearly trying to keep himself in shape and Ursa knew he often spent his mornings practicing his firebending. Iroh’s self-assurance accompanied by his strength made him an incredibly attractive man. His ongoing dedication to his firebending had left him with lean toned muscle and relatively good flexibility. Ursa’s eye was especially drawn to his tight ass and thighs. 

They climbed into the bathtub and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half cuddling and talking, trying to avoid touching the most intimate parts. Neither of them were quite ready for more. Iroh ensured that the water was always the perfect temperature and by the time they got out, they were both relaxed and happy, Iroh having forgotten what he’d been worried about entirely. 

As he closed his suite door behind Ursa, Iroh decided he had just enough time to take care of his arousal. As soon as Ursa had suggested a bath, his member had expressed a decided interest. He’d been at half mast the entire time they’d been in the tub and if Ursa had noticed she hadn’t said anything. Iroh, being the gentleman and not wanting to push her, didn’t bring it up either. Now, however, he had time to take care of his issue himself, and he headed to his bedroom. He let his mind drift into various scenarios involving Ursa but now he no longer had to imagine her supple breasts; he’d seen them. He came into his own hands, her name on his lips, not 10 minutes after she’d left. 

Ursa had definitely noticed Iroh’s interest but knew better than to mention it. She knew Iroh was being patient and waiting for her to voice interest in advancing their relations and today was a big step. Iroh’s unabashed confidence in who he was clearly extended to his entire body. Maybe the next time she saw him, she’d dare to touch. 

By the next time she saw him, several days had passed and she was ready, so they retired to his bedchamber. When he begged to be allowed to touch her in return, she discovered that Iroh was easily the most skilled lover she’d ever been with. He was attentive to the few instructions she did give and was constantly watching to ensure he really was doing what she needed. His fingers were practically magical; she could only assume that his tongue was just as good, if not better. She was on the edge in record time, and as she fell over the cliff into intense pleasure she noted Iroh’s fist flying over himself so he could follow her into an orgasm as quickly as possible, unable to stifle his deep moans. 

As much as they wanted to lay in bed afterward and cuddle until they both fell asleep, they both knew that the risk of their being caught was far too high. They dressed and Ursa left Iroh to tend to some of his work. From then on, they would always end their visits with a mutually satisfying and mind-blowing orgasm. Soon Ursa suggested that they add oral activities and discovered that Iroh was, as expected, an excellent lover in this realm, too. 

Now, six months after her wedding, Ursa approached her brother-in-law’s suite with the intention of proposing the ultimate. She knew he would protest, or at least insist on pulling out. She was planning on having none of it. The pressure was mounting for a baby, and since Iroh and Ozai were brothers, she didn’t think it would actually matter whose baby it was, as long as Ozai thought it was his. She would just have to make sure she was seeing Ozai as often as she saw Iroh. 

Iroh’s small guard contingent let her into Iroh’s suite, where Ursa found him sitting with his typical tea cup in hand, pot and second cup on the table. As he always did, Iroh poured that second cup for her as she sat down, and they talked about what had happened in their lives since they’d last seen each other a few days ago. When the teapot was empty and they entered the bedroom, Ursa broached her question. 

“Ursa, I don’t know that we should do this. What if…” He left the question open ended. 

“It will all be good. I will take care to spend time with my husband and you and I will have a fantastic time. Besides, you know we’d both be secretly pleased if it did happen.”

Iroh smiled. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Positive. I want you to show me that you know how to love a woman.” That was all the encouragement Iroh needed. Together they took to the sheets, proceeding to make each other feel good in all the ways they knew how, kissing, fondling, and sucking all the right places to make their skin blaze and toes curl. As Iroh lined himself up, he asked Ursa one more time if she was sure before he started to push his way in. 

Agni, she felt fucking incredible. While he’d hired some women to help him with some of his needs since Aiko had passed, he had avoided this particular activity with them, wanting to savour it for someone he was passionate about, someone he could truly make love to rather than simply fuck. It had been a long damn time since he’d done this, and it was only now that he realized just how much he was missing.

When he felt himself bottom out, he groaned and paused, revelling in the feeling and trying desperately not to come on the spot. Ursa moaned in unison with him, letting their hips rest together for a few moments before prompting him to move. Together, they made passionate love, becoming one in the most intimate way possible and thoroughly enjoying themselves doing so. When Iroh could feel his approaching orgasm, he reached between them and brought Ursa off with him. 

As he came, he couldn’t keep the words in his mouth. “Agni, I love you.”

After they calmed down, she returned the favour. “I love you, too. Thank you.”

Iroh laughed. “The pleasure was most definitely mine.”

They lounged in bed together a little longer than they usually did before Ursa left to return to her wing. From then on, sex became a regular part of their visits, Ursa taking care to spend time with Ozai the next day. Six weeks later, Ursa came to Iroh with the news that she was pregnant.


End file.
